The Clock is Ticking….part 1 in a series “A Second Wind”
I have never liked the sound of a ticking clock. If the truth were known, I HATE repetitive noises, and a ticking clock in a quiet room will drive me straight up a wall. It ranks right up there with someone clicking a pen over and over again, or someone chewing ice.
But, I digress.
There is a clock that actually starts ticking the minute your child is born. You may have heard it a few times since you gave birth. Maybe you heard it at the first Little League game or dance recital. Maybe you heard it on their first day of school or when they reached the “double digits” birthdays You probably heard it a little louder when they got their driver’s permit, and for a moment, it was probably quite loud when they drove away for the first time after getting their license. But, after each of those times, the ticking goes back to being soft and almost indistinguishable from the pace of life.
However, when your child, especially your last child, nears their final year of high school, that ticking clock becomes louder and louder with each passing day, and you realize that it is not only counting down the days until they leave home….but it is also counting down the days until your life, roles, and your focus really changes.
I started hearing that clock the year before our last son graduated. I tried to prepare for what was coming. I even started a Facebook page called Second Wind to share the journey. John and I started nurturing some of the things we used to do together before having kids. I started to pick up some things I had set aside while I had been homeschooling. I started the masters degree program that I had put off for so long. But the Facebook page, Second Wind Lane, didn’t really get off the ground. Why? To be honest with you, the Second Wind I was looking for…this new lease on life…just didn’t happen.
I can tell you what DID happen. I suddenly wasn’t homeschooling after 23 years and I had an empty nest after 30-something years. I began facing significant personal health problems while trying to help deal with the health problems of my mother, and watch my husband help with the health problems of his parents. We moved my mom and my in-laws closer to family which meant the sale of my mom’s house and my in-laws house. A family member going through an incredible long-term set of trying circumstances. There was a son graduating from college, a son graduating from grad school, a son getting married, finishing my masters degree, teaching at a university for three years, temporarily moving to a different state for business reasons, kids and grandkids moving, stepping down from a work position that I had held for over 20 years and handing the reigns to someone else, and much more. LIFE, right!? But along with all of these things came a feeling that I wasn’t expecting. It was something I had heard other people describe as having experienced. And, if I was honest, I had rolled my eyes (internally, of course) when they had talked about it. How could any of these things affect someone in that way? YET, here I was experiencing the same thing….
WHO AM I ….. and WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?
(P.S. I think I’m on the other side of this now and finding my way….if that’s any encouragement. But, I’m still on a journey and that’s what I want to share with you.)
